Stepson Has Problematic Girlfriend

Martin and Josie Brown
Sat, 26 Apr 2014 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear John: My 24-year-old stepson recently introduced us to his new girlfriend. She is 12 years older than him, which makes her just 10 years younger than my husband and me. She's loud and a big flirt who knows no boundaries. In fact, she has even flirted with my husband! Worse, I just found pictures she sent my husband of her breast-enhancement operation, which is totally gross! He never mentioned it, but he left the file on a desk, and I came across it. What's going on here? — Uncomfortable, in Long Beach, Calif,

Dear Uncomfortable: Even if you have not discussed your feelings about this woman, I'm sure your husband has figured out that she makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps he didn't mention the photos because his reaction to them was the same as yours: repulsed. Just because she's 12 years older than her boyfriend does not necessarily mean she is the more mature of the two. Her actions bear this out. Eventually, your stepson may outgrow her flirting and outrageous behavior, leading her to quickly become a distant memory.

Dear John: I saw my brother having dinner with a woman who wasn't his wife. There was no mistaking that the two of them were acting quite cozy. I am not particularly close to my sister-in-law, but I don't approve of infidelity. I don't feel comfortable keeping my mouth shut, because I know I'd want to hear about it if I were his wife. What should I do? — Watchful Sis, in Savannah, Ga.
Updated: Sun Apr 27, 2014

Dear John: My 24-year-old stepson recently introduced us to his new girlfriend. She is 12 years older than him, which makes her just 10 years younger than my husband and me. She's loud and a big flirt who knows no boundaries. In fact, she has even flirted with my husband! Worse, I just found pictures she sent my husband of her breast-enhancement operation, which is totally gross! He never mentioned it, but he left the file on a desk, and I came across it. What's going on here? — Uncomfortable, in Long Beach, Calif,

Dear Uncomfortable: Even if you have not discussed your feelings about this woman, I'm sure your husband has figured out that she makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps he didn't mention the photos because his reaction to them was the same as yours: repulsed. Just because she's 12 years older than her boyfriend does not necessarily mean she is the more mature of the two. Her actions bear this out. Eventually, your stepson may outgrow her flirting and outrageous behavior, leading her to quickly become a distant memory.

Dear John: I saw my brother having dinner with a woman who wasn't his wife. There was no mistaking that the two of them were acting quite cozy. I am not particularly close to my sister-in-law, but I don't approve of infidelity. I don't feel comfortable keeping my mouth shut, because I know I'd want to hear about it if I were his wife. What should I do? — Watchful Sis, in Savannah, Ga.

Dear Watchful Sis: Before you jump to any conclusions, and share your knowledge with his wife, consider asking your brother about what is going on. What you saw from across the room may not be at all what you suspect. It may put your mind at ease to hear his side of the story. If he confirms your suspicions, you can then ask him if he wants your advice. I assume you will ask him to reconsider his actions and to do all he can to salvage his marriage before jumping into another relationship that could hurt all those involved. If he denies the allegations, take him at his word and know you've given your best advice to someone you love. Have hope that he will follow through and in the end do the right thing, and then leave it at that.